Craving People

Before the quarantine, I thought life could be lived through our screens. Face time felt cooler than meeting over lunch. Texting till late was easier than planning a sleepover. Memes and laugh emojis replaced Rom-Com movie dates. Expressing love was reduced to double tapping my friends’ pics on Instagram and commenting using tiny fires and colorful hearts.

Now, I wish I had used words instead. I wish I hadn’t waited for a heavily filtered picture to be uploaded for me to comment on their beauty. How awesome would it have been if I often did this, face to face, every time I met them? Holding back is a bitch that barks and bites during times of regret.

My personal space has always been intimate. I am the queen of walls and high voltage electric fences with a long-ass passwords at the gate. This idea of self-isolation was meant to protect myself from being harmed by people, and it felt right. Now, that people have been forced out of my space and me out of theirs, it feels wrong.

We are relationship beings. I now get it, and I would trade my walls and fences for a long hug from a friend or foe.