If you’re reading this, you are probably already knee-deep in the violent pursuit of your dreams. It’s been a roller-coaster on steroids, right? The numerous sleepless nights. The tornado of self doubt. The fucking loneliness that comes from the realization that, in all your circles, you are the ugly duckling.

The vision is clear as day in your head. The conviction you feel daily, that magnetic pull at the center of your diaphragm. A tightening pull drawing you inwards every time you talk about or pray about your dream or calling. It is not universal now, is it? The rush…


Photo by Blake Cheek on Unsplash

God and I will always be close.

Whether I’m in religion or not. I no longer subscribe to the school of religion because, well, I am a perfectionist. To me, if we have agreed as believers not to engage in social drinking and drug use, then we should not. No exceptions! Notice the example I have used…No where in scripture is it explicitly written that we should not drink. At least not in these exact words. It is written that we should not give ourselves over to drunkenness. …


There is a pain that no one prepares us for. Growing up, it is spoken of in code and imagery for the sharp to decipher. It is in our mothers’ deep sighs whenever we tell a white lie. Our father’s intense stare when we act without care. Our uncles’ and aunts’ sarcastic laughs followed by the Kenyan saying: chunga maisha.

It baffled me growing up, why my parents would make the world into a ruthless monster, and still claim that life is a gift. The Dunia Mbaya song didn’t make it easier. That, and being a 90s born when HIV…


It is one thing not to know what you are made of, and another to be completely aware of your default setting. The entirety of a human being is too complex to fit in any flexible analogy, so I will choose one area that puzzles us all. Our talents.

I grew up in a Christian home. Though I appreciate the solid foundations of discipline that my parents laid, there are perks to being raised in a strict religious setting that I can never overlook. One of them is never questioning the holy texts nor the men of God. This always…


Do you have a closet in your mind? A huge wardrobe where you have hang various costumes that fit your different personalities? Would it be a disaster if all your friends and acquaintances met in a room one day and described the kind of person you are? Where, to your family, you are more of a Barack Obama but to your friends you are a Kevin Hart? Meghan Good to some, Tiffany Haddish to others?

It gets tiresome doesn’t it? Having to keep up with all these appearances just because, once upon a time, a seed was planted in our…


There is a destructive deceit that is cancerous to ones soul. The belief that one is better than others. We are born knowing nothing. Dependent creatures clutching onto anything for survival. But with growth comes knowledge. And with knowledge, pride…Might this be why man’s biblical fall is pegged on the knowledge of good and evil?

We are all victims of trauma. Taught from an early age that one’s purpose in life is to achieve something. If not, then poverty, loneliness, failure, sickness and even hell awaits us! Comparison is part of our day to day routine. Intentionally and unintentionally. We…


I am a fool, but once in a long while wit visits me and offers the proper words to express my thoughts.

It is now officially two years since I left the church, and with it, completely abandoned religion. Think of me as a church dropout and not a backslider. I still hold to heart and habit some of the unbiased teachings about love, kindness, forgiveness and gratitude, all of which are common in all major religions.

For 25 years all I knew was Christianity. I knew that my destiny was in God’s hands. In His hands were also all…


I can only imagine some scenarios because fate won’t allow them to become a reality. You might think I am talking about fictional situations like freeing a jini after playing an ancient tune on my rusty kalimba. This would rather happen to me than a few things I always wish would occur. Maybe it is yet to happen because fate knows what my first wish would be...

Death. So, no. Life will forever keep the possibilities of magic shut behind an iron door, just to keep me alive and breathing. However, there is one element to my life that no…


How do I nail anxiety to the cross?

25 years of religious incantations. Scriptural citations. Fellowship interventions. Yet, I still battle my greatest demon. The thorn that pricks my soul.

Pic by Kelly Sikkema, Unsplash.com

Lust? Lol!! Fucking is not what milks my spiritual, physical and mental muscle dry. No dick carries nor deserves that much power.

Lying? A tool necessary for my imaginative mind when coming up with concepts and writing killer scripts.

Covetousness? Nope! My happiest moments in life still trace back to a small two bedroom apartment in Dandora phase 5. Our bedroom, shared between me, my 2 brothers and the help…


Before the quarantine, I thought life could be lived through our screens. Face time felt cooler than meeting over lunch. Texting till late was easier than planning a sleepover. Memes and laugh emojis replaced Rom-Com movie dates. Expressing love was reduced to double tapping my friends’ pics on Instagram and commenting using tiny fires and colorful hearts.

Now, I wish I had used words instead. I wish I hadn’t waited for a heavily filtered picture to be uploaded for me to comment on their beauty. How awesome would it have been if I often did this, face to face, every…

Mercy Mbithe Mutisya

I see life through a lens of words

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